Inna Rosputnia – The Wall Street Queen Who Turned $10K Into $3,000,000 In Just A Few Years
Women in trading continue to be the shining light in the current market. There are many examples of female traders’ success stories but we did not have to dig deep to find the truly inspirational female business leader. Inna Rosputnia(Lady F) has overcome great odds and serve as a beacon for all those to follow.
Her example provides a high degree of hardship and success. “Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them“, so rightly stated by William Shakespeare.
Inna Rosputnia is one of the most successful female traders. Nominated to Women in Finance Awards in 2016, known as a trader, who turned $10k into $3,000,000 in a few years of trading and run one of the most fast growing investment companies, she was named “Wall Street Queen” by one of the bankers during the Women Economic Forum.
“When I was a child, nothing could have predicted my future career in finance. The only thing that connected my growing up in small Ukrainian village and Wall Street was watching American TV series with my granny. There were always some stories about investing, stocks, oil etc., and I dreamed of understanding and getting into this world.” – says Inna Rosputnia.
She was working as model and TV host but became closer to her true purpose only in 2007. Inna kept thinking about what she would like to do next; meanwhile she was working at Alfa Insurance IC.(a part of Alfa Group Consortium – one of Russia’s largest privately owned investment groups, with interests in oil and gas, commercial and investment banking, asset management, insurance, retail trade, telecommunications, water utilities and special situation investments). Finally, Inna began trading futures, commodities, and stocks in 2009.
“When I first started I was broke and in debts. I didn’t have the right to fail and I was always moving forward no matter what and no matter how difficult it was. When you can’t make a step back, you do your best, you open all your inner resources to proceed and to reach your goal. At most difficult times, when I was feeling like giving up, I looked back on how far I have reached already and how many people were depending on me. My family was always my pushing power, giving me support and inspiration.” – Inna tells.
Inna has also been active as a philanthropist since 2013 when she began providing funds to help women in Africa to attend universities and start own business. In 2016, Inna joined Cherie Blair Foundation for women to contribute to women empowerment and promote gender equity, human rights, and transparency. Inna has a special mission to engage women into trading and investing, educate them and empower.
Being a woman trader, who started from zero, and became millionaire she understands when it comes to financing and investing, women have special needs. Her work with Cherie Blair Foundation inspired Inna to wrote a book ‘Basic instinct of Woman Trader‘. In this book, Inna shares secrets about how to change mindset to succeed in trading and investing, and how to be profitable in trading. Her book is aimed to empower women, as she told her own story there.
“To reach any goal you need to make the first step – don’t wait for the right time (It will never come), do it now. Taking action is the way to success and common feature of all successful people. Just trust your inner voice, believe in yourself and keep moving forward!” – wrote Inna in her letter to readers.
Financial Planning, Investments, My Latest News, Trading & Wealth Management, Wealth & Well-Being, Women EmpowermentYou can find original article at Business Woman Media website
Don’t hold back: women should take control of their investments
One of the myths about why there are not many women engaged in trading and investing is because they are scared of taking action in the ‘male world of finance’. Women are often scared of not knowing what to do… how to start. As a woman trader who started from zero and becoming a millionaire, I know that the best way to overcome that fear – even on a limited budget – is to dip your toes into the market.
The old saying that it takes money to make money is true. And those living paycheck to paycheck may feel there often isn’t enough money left over to put towards investing.But if you don’t put money away for later years, you will face a very difficult future. One day, you won’t be able to work and you may not have enough money to live on… So what can you donow to escape such a catastrophic situation in future?
To reach any goal, you need look for opportunities, not for excuses.
Financial freedom comes to the persons who take control over their finances – It’s a golden rule of the universe. My advice is not new, but it works. Follow 3 easy steps to change your life and take control over your financial future:
One of the best thing you can do for yourself is to develop a habit of saving part of your salary or other income. Even a small amount regularly saved adds up over time. Savings today are guarantees and possibilities of tomorrow. Beginning today first of all reserve 10% of your income to save. You can save even more — or if 10% seems to be too big an amount for you, start with 2% or 4% and increase it every month. Make every dollar count! How often do you go to fast food restaurant, how often do you buy snacks? What if you cut out even small part of those expenses each month, netting you an extra $100 per month? At the end of the year you will have $1200. Yes, it does not seem like much to get started, but anything is better than nothing, and it can make a big difference in 20 years.
Start a special account to save 10% of your income and pay it with the same respect as you do your mortgage. Be disciplined – it’s your key to success. And never touch your savings, except for investing.
While you are letting your savings mount up to the level where you can use them, educate yourself about investment. There are many free courses and a lot of information around that can teach you the basics of the market, the different kinds of shares, bonds and other opportunities. Beware of those who recommend anything they personally get a fee for pushing. Learn for yourself what the risks and rewards are from different types of investing.
3. Get started
Start investing as soon as possible, as soon as you accumulate enough funds to join the investment program you like – do it! If you are just saving, not investing, you will never become wealthy, because inflation will be eating your money day by day and year by year. The magic formula is saving + investing = financial freedom.
To reach a goal you need to make a first step – do it now!
Investments, My Latest News, My Youtube channel, Trading & Wealth Management, Wealth & Well-Being, Women Empowerment
Hi my dear readers!
I have launched on Youtube new channel Lady F TV. I promise it will be your guidance to financial freedom! All you wanted to know about finance, trading and investing. As a woman trader and selfmade millionare, I have special mission to engage women into investing and trading, giving necessary education and tools to become successful in trading. I will share my personal experience, insight and answer your questions to make your way to success easy and save you countless hours and money so you don’t have to have the same frustrations I had when I first started and you won’t have to experience the huge losses that I’ve encountered. Plus, I will share secrets how I turned $10k into millions in few years.
Here are strategies to silence your overly critical internal monologue and help you reach your goals.
To reach your goals, you have to take risks, develop constructive routines and make time to listen, learn and reflect. The prospect of making any of the above adjustments to your life is empowering — that is, until your mind starts to wander.
Any time you’ve thought about making a change or pursuing a passion, you’ve probably dwelled more on your present state than your potential. Or once you got started, minor setbacks or flubs have felt like deal-breaking failures. You’ve beaten yourself up, berated yourself or felt overwhelmed or alone.
Constant reminders of other people’s triumphs only make you criticize yourself more. Whether you’re scrolling through your Instagram feed or reading a story on Entrepreneur, your kneejerk reaction to someone else’s success might be a combination of envy and self-loathing. A cascade of negative thoughts can produce negative outcomes: Inaction. Retreat. Bad habits. By thinking negatively about what you will accomplish, you formulate a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You’re not inadequate, and you’re not doomed to fail. So next time you’re thinking some variation of one of those things, try these 15 strategies to propel yourself out of the funk you’re in and proceed with the mission you’ve set out to achieve.
1. What you tell yourself: “I don’t know when or how I’m going to do this.” What you should think or do instead: Set a schedule.
Set aside time to work toward your goal for a given period each day or week. Then stick to your plan. Create a calendar slot for it, and treat it as non-optional, like a job. Eventually, you’ll form a new habit.
“Whatever it is, if you want to do it, you need to prioritize it,” says Danielle Krysa, author of Your Inner Critic Is a Big Jerk. “Just like you schedule the rest of your life — work, the gym, pick-up/drop-off of kids, whatever — you have to schedule this in.”
2. What you tell yourself: “I’m not in the right environment.” What you should think or do instead: Carve out a corner.
That doubting, destructive voice in your head will find any excuse to impede your progress toward your goal. It’s easy to blame your environment, but there are ways to make your circumstances work for you — or create new ones.
“Carve out a little corner of one room and set it up so all your essential supplies are within reach,” Krysa writes in her book. “It helps if you surround yourself with some things that inspire you into action.”
Once you establish a dedicated place, it will be easier to tune out other aspects of your life while you’re working toward your goal. When you’re sitting in your corner, surrounded by inspirational objects, or at your new table in your community space, you’ll have physically and mentally removed yourself from the place where you also pay bills, eat dinner or help your kids with homework.
3. What you tell yourself: “I’m not in the mood.” What you should think or do instead: “Procrastinate with purpose.”
That’s what Krysa, who is also an artist, does when she doesn’t feel like tackling a big task.
“Maybe that means I go into the studio and I use that hour to tidy everything up. Or maybe I go to the art supply store and stock up on everything I’m low on,” Krysa says. “But the interesting thing is, when I do that, I end up getting creatively jazzed up again.”
Fill your time with productive tasks that will indirectly lead you toward your goal, she suggests.
4. What you tell yourself: “I don’t know what to do next. I feel stuck.” What you should think or do instead: Relax and take your time.
Working toward a goal often involves decision-making, tackling difficult tasks and making tough sacrifices. Often, when faced with these dilemmas, people feel pressure to resolve them quickly, but they aren’t always sure about the best course of action.
First, try to relax and take it step by step.
“When you overthink a decision, your instincts aren’t involved at all,” Heather Havrilesky, author and advice columnist who pens New York magazine’s Ask Polly, told Entrepreneur.com. “So the idea is to get into a relaxed space and then feel through your options and your ideas about what you want or what you might enjoy, without getting too attached to what you learn about yourself and your true desires on any given day.”
She advises writing down what you like about a potential decision vs. what you dread about it. She also suggests forgiving yourself for not having taken the next step yet. Chances are, you’ll be more satisfied with the end result if you give yourself time.
“You don’t end up feeling like your decisions are arbitrary when you make them in a calm, relaxed state of mind,” Havrilesky says.
5. What you tell yourself: “I will never achieve my goal.” What you should think or do instead: Tell yourself the opposite.
So you’ve had a setback in your quest to achieve your goal. You know you shouldn’t insult yourself, but you can’t stop. The criticisms become more and more negative, maybe until you convince yourself of something terribly untrue, such as “you’re worthless,” or “you’ll never achieve your goal.”
Your failure to execute on your goals up to this point is not a reflection of your character. The fact that you’ve formed a goal in the first place indicates that you have an idea of how to better yourself or add something to the world. Now you have to do it, and the biggest obstacle in your way might be yourself and that nagging voice telling you there’s something wrong with you or that you can’t.
“Every time you have one of those negative thoughts, write it down. Then write the positive opposite, and stick it somewhere where you can see it,” Krysa says. “Suddenly you end up surrounded by positive things instead of negative things. It’s very Kumbaya, but it really does work.”
6. What you tell yourself: “I’m a total mess.” What you should think or do instead: Organize the little details of your life to prime yourself for your big goal.
It’s easy to get bogged down by the small things, such as how you look, how clogged your inbox is or how many errands you’ve been putting off. Disorganization in minor aspects of your personal life could deter you from thinking you’re ready to take on something big.
Prepare as much as you can. That way, you can focus on bigger hurdles.
7. What you tell yourself: “My goal is stupid.” What you should think or do instead: Exude confidence bordering on arrogance.
If you’re preoccupied with the idea that no one else will be interested in what you’re trying to do, you may start trying to convince yourself that you should quit pursuing your goal based on what you’re worried others will think.
Havrilesky says she’s made the mistake of beating herself up internally to the point where she couldn’t speak concisely or coherently about her ideas for new projects. She’s learned from her mistakes and now understands that confidence is everything.
“Take up a little space and own who you are,” she says. “Don’t worry about what they’re thinking.”
She also encourages good posture. Havrilesky says that she has found “standing like Wonder Woman” helpful in reinforcing positive self-perception. Despite the fact that science has not proven power posing effective, some people do find that it boosts their confidence.
8. What you tell yourself: “That other person already achieved my goal and made it look so easy. I’ll never be as good as them.” What you should think or do instead: Approach the person and ask for advice.
It can be toxic to think about other people’s success. You may put them on a pedestal and think they’re superhuman or free of doubt. Ultimately, you may become wildly jealous of them to the point that you devalue yourself and your potential.
When Krysa found that a writer whose work she followed made her feel this way, she bravely did what so many people never consider: She asked that woman to meet.
“I decided to reach out and go, ‘Hey! How do you do what you do? And also I’m super jealous of you,’” Krysa says. “I wanted to say it out loud, and it turns into admiration when you do that.”
They met for coffee, and Krysa told her, “I think you’re perfect.”
The woman burst into laughter. “‘Are you kidding? I think you’re perfect,” she replied.
This led the two of them to compare notes.
Krysa walked away with some valuable insight into how this seemingly “perfect” woman achieved her success, a realization that this person was actually human, a self-esteem boost and a new friend to boot.
You shouldn’t feel shy about reaching out to someone you feel inferior to. The other person probably feels similar feelings, and you have plenty to teach her, too.
9. What you tell yourself: “Even if I achieve my goal, I’m never going to impress the people I want to impress.” What you should think or do instead: I’m here to connect with others.
Reaching a goal, especially a professional one, is often about more than your ability to excel in your line of work. It also involves a social element, such as networking. This leaves many people convinced that they are going to make a bad impression. Someone will find them too shy, too bossy, too something and not enough something else, and that deficiency will cloud all of their achievements, so they think.
Havrilesky has a solution: “You don’t focus on your worst self, and you also don’t focus on your fantasy self,” she says. “Instead, you think about the people who love you, find you incredibly charming and remember how you act around those people.”
Approach meetings and social events with an interest in others rather than a preoccupation with yourself and your own shortcomings.
“They’re just regular people who’ve learned how to play certain roles,” Havrilesky says. “Remember that you’re not there to impress anyone, even though that’s what your bad brain tells you. You’re there to connect.”
10. What you tell yourself: “It doesn’t seem like I’m making any progress toward my goal.” What you should think or do instead: Find someone to hold you accountable.
When you take on a new challenge, it can be discouraging when your life doesn’t magically change overnight. You’re working so hard, yet you don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere. You begin to wonder if all of your effort is worth it.
To ensure you don’t give up on your goal, establish a support system — one person or a group who will hold you accountable. It could be a family member, it could be Facebook friends or it could be a life coach. You’ll feel less alone in your journey, you’ll have someone to report to who will make sure you follow through and best of all, you’ll have someone who will notice and remind you of how far you’ve come.
“You’ll know that you have someone or a group of someones that are holding you every day in your highest self, to the standard of what that looks like, how that person behaves, how that person treats themselves,” says Jessica King, a life coach and senior instructor at Peloton, who works with clients to meet their fitness goals. “Once the awareness around habits and patterns and self-talk is a conversation that’s out in the open, it’s kind of wild how quickly transformation can happen.”
11. What you tell yourself: “That didn’t work.” What you should think or do instead: Keep your goal, but find a new means of achieving it.
It’s one thing to be oblivious of the subtle progress you’re making, it’s another thing to know that what you’re doing is ineffective. But rather than give up in those instances, try a different approach.
Say you’re trying to learn a new skill. For example, you might be trying to learn a new language solely by listening to audio guides during your commute, but you’re really not a strong auditory learner. So, you may need to rethink your approach. Perhaps, you learn better with an app or with gamification.
Similarly, King acknowledges that cycling isn’t the right form of exercise for everyone trying to achieve a fitness goal. Some prefer yoga, kickboxing or dancing.
“Any sweat is a good sweat,” King says. “What’s interesting? What’s fun?”
12. What you tell yourself: “This goal isn’t enough. I should be doing more.” What you should think or do instead: Focus.
Don’t overload yourself with to-dos. If you’re making a little progress, don’t devalue what you’ve already accomplished by trying to take on a new task or goal. It’s likely that you still have work to do on the first one.
“I know something that always came up with us at Roo Outdoor was we have our product, we have our marketing, we have our customers. What’s next?” says founder and CEO Mike Kafka. “I always felt like I had to do something more, do something else.”
Instead, Kafka recognizes that he should just focus on one thing at a time. The next thing “will come organically when you’re not focusing as much energy on it,” he says.
13. What you tell yourself: “I’m so overwhelmed.” What you should think or do instead: Journal.
Goal-setting requires focus. You have to stay organized about what you need to do to achieve your goal, but you can’t shut the world out, nor can you always resist the temptation to get ahead of yourself. When there are a lot of thoughts swirling around in your head (including negative ones), it can help to write some of them down.
That’s what Kafka does every morning. He writes just one or two things most days, whether it’s something he wants to work toward or something that’s been on his mind. There’s no structure or plan for what he writes down — he just records his thoughts.
“It’s helped a lot with clearing my thoughts, refocusing on things that are in the present, things that I want in the future,” Kafka says. “It’s a process of getting out some of the thoughts that I may have had, so I’m not thinking of, ‘What’s the next thing, next thing, next thing?’”
Writing things down also gives him the chance to reflect. He says he goes back and reads his notes bi-monthly to resurface ideas, do follow ups and remember things that were done well.
14. What you tell yourself: “Working toward this goal is taking over my life.” What you should think or do instead: Take care of yourself.
A lot of people who are working hard toward a particular goal, be it a college degree or a company launch, let their wellness go by the wayside. They romanticize all-nighters and ramen noodles and think that the more they’re sacrificing for their goal, the more likely they are to reach it.
While some people succeed despite neglecting their own health, it is not sustainable for most.
“The way you treat yourself, the way you eat and the way you think are all going to contribute to the end result of whatever you’re creating,” trainer King says.
If you’re not paying attention to your nutrition, it is going to affect your ability to think clearly. Similarly, stagnation in the body correlates with stagnation in the mind — and creativity.
Don’t be afraid to invest some time to burn some energy and take care of yourself by eating right and sleeping.
15. What you tell yourself: “I’m scared to face the changes that achieving my goal will bring.” What you should think or do instead: It’s not a matter of life or death.
Think of the most intimidating thing you’ve had to face or the most dangerous situation you’ve had to get out of. Now recognize that you made it. You’re here, right now, reading this.
Now think of your goal, and think of which aspect of reaching it is so scary to you. Compare that what you’ve already overcome in your life.
Finally, know that it’s natural to fear new things. Humans are creatures of habit. But humans also have a tendency to beat themselves up. You’ll continue to do that if you don’t take the plunge toward what you’re trying to achieve.
“Sometimes we find ways to prevent ourselves from succeeding, just so we don’t have to live in a new way, among new people, because that sounds scary,” Havrilesky says. “Even if things go badly, I try to laugh about it without internalizing some larger sad message about myself. Everyone screws up here and there. No experience is a verdict.”BY LYDIA BELANGER
Fear can be crippling. Fear can be debilitating. Fear feeds resistance and stops us from achieving dreams, from challenging the status quo, from using our voices, from trying something new.
It’s doubtful that there are many businesspeople who have gone through their career without experiencing fear—loss of face, loss of market share, loss of revenue, or worse still, loss of forward momentum. Many question Can I? Who would want to listen to me? Do I have the experience to do this?
Crazy thoughts and irrational fears.
The truth is that fear, for many of us, is present every day. The question is how to turn the feeling of fear into a powerful tool. Here are five key tips to remove the fear and achieve the success that you want:
1. It all starts with YOU.
The only judgment that matters is the one you have of yourself, so decide what is it that you are going to stand for, what your testament is to the world, what difference you want to make today to influence the lives of others around you. When you have a sense of clarity and purpose for yourself and your life, when you are clear on your why, you can then begin the journey to achieve what you desire from your life, business or profession, and enjoy longevity in your success because you are living life on purpose.
2. Trust your intuition.
Understand what makes up your value system and own it. Live it. Work it. If you don’t start leading from within, taking control to acknowledge your own values and beliefs and the person that you are on the inside, you will never be capable of being the better person on the outside. This system is unique to you and it is your responsibility to take ownership. There are times when it will be challenged or when you will give in to other’s values—and you will look back and wish you had trusted your intuition. That intuition, that gut feeling? Don’t ever mistrust it. It is a key part of you, and you should learn that it is one of your best assets. Ignore at your peril.
3. Be brave.
Stepping out of your comfort zone creates a new perspective—we know this. Yet fear gets in the way and we get trapped, stuck in status quo, a place of stagnation and no growth. Be brave and take a journey to the edge. This alone will strengthen you and give a massive boost to your self-confidence and self-belief. Stepping out of your comfort zone empowers and engages, it forces you to face your fear head-on. Imagine the possibilities and use this to fuel your bravery as you discover new opportunities and unlock new pathways to success.
4. Stand in your spotlight.
Don’t be afraid to be brilliant. Have the resilience to shine and follow your dreams of business and personal success. There is nothing wrong with making your own profile, or your own brand, as strong as you possibly can. Because it is only when you are operating from that position of self-leadership that you can truly give to others.
5. Chase progress over perfection.
Most of us instinctively spend time and energy seeking the big goals and achievements—those moments that are incredibly satisfying and equally, at times, hard to come by. Focusing only on the bigger goals can lead to disappointment and frustration, and while those big picture goals are important, we often lose sight of the incremental successes and achievements along the way. Take time to acknowledge and recognize the small wins each and every day.
6. Take action.
Much of what we fear is the future. It is important to bring our overthinking mind continuously into the present, focusing on what needs to be done right now, and take action and get on with it. Action allows us to overcome fear and inertia because by taking action, by doing it anyway, by being brave and going for it, we feel back in control.
7. Embrace decision-making.
When you hold back from making decisions out of a fear of failure, it engenders that same fear in others around you. This means lackluster projects, an endemic inability to change the status quo and a potential lack of future leaders around you. A large part of being brave is to risk failing, make the tough calls, and show those around you that this is OK.
It is those people who are willing to challenge themselves, who make themselves accountable for their own success, and ultimately their own happiness, who recognize the need to reach a little bit further, a little bit higher, who end up with the biggest satisfaction. Be 5 percent braver than everyone else. Dig deep and share your unique talent, your thought leadership, your expertise. Create energy and that energy will drive change for you and those around you. It is those who take the leap, who face their fears who are able to create momentum in their success dreams.
At the end of the day, what will it cost you if you don’t at least try?
How many millionaires does the U.S. have? Do you even know the order of magnitude? 100,000? 1 million? 10 million?
The answer, according to Credit Suisse’s “Global Wealth in 2015” report, is 15.7 million. Compared to the U.K., the country with the next most millionaires, the U.S. has 6.5 times as many millionaires.
Of course, the U.S. also has around five times the population of the U.K., so the millionaires per capita aren’t too different—around 4.9% of the U.S. population is a millionaire and 3.7% of the U.K.
Looking at Statista’s chart, which visualized the Credit Suisse data, there is a serious exponential curve down from the U.S. to Turkey, which makes its number 15 slot look like a slap in the face rather than an accomplishment, which it is—there are 196 or 195 countries, depending on how you count. Clearly, there’s some serious global inequality in addition to what Democratic presidential contender Bernie Sanders has been trumpeting at home
There’s nothing worse than a rich person who’s chronically angry or unhappy. There’s really no excuse for it, yet I see this phenomenon every day. It results from an extremely unbalanced life, one with too much expectation and not enough appreciation for what’s there.
Without gratitude and appreciation for what you already have, you’ll never know true fulfillment. But how do you cultivate balance in life? What’s the point of achievement if your life has no balance?
For nearly four decades, I’ve had the privilege of coaching people from every walk of life, including some of the most powerful men and women on the planet. I’ve worked with presidents of the United States as well as owners of small businesses.
Across the board, I’ve found that virtually every moment people make three key decisions that dictate the quality of their lives.
If you make these decisions unconsciously, you’ll end up like majority of people who tend to be out of shape physically, exhausted emotionally and often financially stressed. But if you make these decisions consciously, you can literally change the course of your life today.
Decision 1: Carefully choose what to focus on.
At every moment, millions of things compete for your attention. You can focus on things that are happening right here and now or on what you want to create in the future. Or you can focus on the past.
Where focus goes, energy flows. What you focus on and your pattern for doing so shapes your entire life.
Which area do you tend to focus on more: what you have or what’s missing from your life?
I’m sure you think about both sides of this coin. But if you examine your habitual thoughts, what do you tend to spend most of your time dwelling on?
Rather than focusing on what you don’t have and begrudging those who are better off than you financially, perhaps you should acknowledge that you have much to be grateful for and some of it has nothing to do with money. You can be grateful for your health, family, friends, opportunities and mind.
Developing a habit of appreciating what you have can create a new level of emotional well-being and wealth. But the real question is, do you take time to deeply feel grateful with your mind, body, heart and soul? That’s where the joy, happiness and fulfillment can be found.
Consider a second pattern of focus that affects the quality of your life: Do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can’t?
If you focus on what you can’t control, you’ll have more stress in life. You can influence many aspects of your life but you usually can’t control them.
When you adopt this pattern of focus, your brain has to make another decision:
Decision 2: Figure out, What does this all mean?
Ultimately, how you feel about your life has nothing to do with the events in it or with your financial condition or what has (or hasn’t) happened to you. The quality of your life is controlled by the meaning you give these things.
Most of the time you may be unaware of the effect of your unconscious mind in assigning meaning to life’s events.
When something happens that disrupts your life (a car accident, a health issue, a job loss), do you tend to think that this is the end or the beginning?
If someone confronts you, is that person insulting you, coaching you or truly caring for you?
Does a devastating problem mean that God is punishing you or challenging you? Or is it possible that this problem is a gift from God?
Your life takes on whatever meaning you give it. With each meaning comes a unique feeling or emotion and the quality of your life involves where you live emotionally.
I always ask during my seminars, “How many of you know someone who is on antidepressants and still depressed?” Typically 85 percent to 90 percent of those assembled raise their hands.
How is this possible? The drugs should make people feel better. It’s true that antidepressants do come with labels warning that suicidal thoughts are a possible side effect.
But no matter how much a person drugs himself, if he constantly focuses on what he can’t control in life and what’s missing, he won’t find it hard to despair. If he adds to that a meaning like “life is not worth living,” that’s an emotional cocktail that no antidepressant can consistently overcome.
Yet if that same person can arrive at a new meaning, a reason to live or a belief that all this was meant to be, then he will be stronger than anything that ever happened to him.
When people shift their habitual focus and meanings, there’s no limit on what life can become. A change of focus and a shift in meaning can literally alter someone’s biochemistry in minutes.
So take control and always remember: Meaning equals emotion and emotion equals life. Choose consciously and wisely. Find an empowering meaning in any event, and wealth in its deepest sense will be yours today.
Once you create a meaning in your mind, it creates an emotion, and that emotion leads to a state for making your third decision:
Decision 3: What will you do?
The actions you take are powerfully shaped by the emotional state you’re in. If you’re angry, you’re going to behave quite differently than if you’re feeling playful or outrageous.
If you want to shape your actions, the fastest way is to change what you focus on and shift the meaning to be something more empowering.
Two people who are angry will behave differently. Some pull back. Others push through.
Some individuals express anger quietly. Others do so loudly or violently. Yet others suppress it only to look for a passive-aggressive opportunity to regain the upper hand or even exact revenge.
Where do these patterns come from? People tend to model their behavior on those they respect, enjoy and love.
The people who frustrated or angered you? You often reject their approaches.
Yet far too often you may find yourself falling back into patterns you witnessed over and over again in your youth and were displeased by.
It’s very useful for you to become aware of your patterns when you are frustrated, angry or sad or feel lonely. You can’t change your patterns if you’re not aware of them.
Now that you’re aware of the power of these three decisions, start looking for role models who are experiencing what you want out of life. I promise you that those who have passionate relationships have a totally different focus and arrive at totally different meanings for the challenges in relationships than people who are constantly bickering or fighting.
It’s not rocket science. If you become aware of the differences in how people approach these three decisions, you’ll have a pathway to help you create a permanent positive change in any area of life.